Rev. Lori on the Intersection of Addiction and Compassion
This reflection was originally published in the previous week’s Friday Flyer.
Hello Good People
We head into the month of October with the theme of cultivating compassion. What a hugely important theme right now and what an invitation to all of us to participate in! We are sharing our plate this month with Portland Treatment Center, located in Biddeford, and joined this Sunday by two champions from the organization to share about their important work!
I titled this Sunday’s service, “What Are You Addicted to?” thinking of addiction through the lens of compassion. We are all addicted to something. When we recognize that shared fact, we can find the truest source of our compassion. It is our connection. Our connection to each other in our most vulnerable places and spaces. I have heard it said that connection is the opposite of addiction. When you feel connected to others, able to reach out and seek support and offer it, you feel true purpose and calling. That is one of the secrets to a fulfilled life, a meaningful life, and a healthy life! We will have the opportunity to hear about some journeys with it and also some of the gaps in the system. These gaps sometimes/often add challenges to folks getting back on their feet. We can help in our small way financially. And we can help the world tremendously through self reflection and connection to our own issues. And, of course, our sense of compassion towards self. That gives us the strength to direct our compassion outwards!
Let’s focus today on what our own challenges are and how we connect with those as tools for connecting deeply with others in empathy and service!
Addiction isn’t just about drugs or alcohol. It’s broader, and honestly, a lot more familiar than we like to admit. Most of us know what it’s like to chase a feeling—whether it’s the dopamine hit from social media, the comfort of a nightly glass of wine, or the mindless escape of binge-watching something when life feels a little too sharp around the edges. Addiction, in some ways, is about the stories we tell ourselves: “I need this to unwind,” “I’ll stop tomorrow,” or “It’s not that bad.” We all have a version of that narrative.
On a deeper level, addiction is about trying to fill some gap—boredom, loneliness, anxiety, pain—with something that offers relief, at least for a moment. But the relief is temporary, and the need is persistent. That’s the cycle. It’s not a moral failing; it’s something that connects all of us as humans. We want to feel good and avoid pain. Sometimes, the ways we try to do that end up hurting us.
The truth is, everyone is at least a little bit addicted to something. And the more we can acknowledge that—without shame, without judgment—the more honest we can be about what we’re really looking for, and the more compassionate we can be with ourselves and others. Connection, not isolation, is the antidote. And maybe that’s what makes us human: the search for comfort, and the hope that someone else understands. Perhaps being the understanders first is a good place to start.
I invite you to read this again, perhaps out loud and in your head.
Think about the gaps in your life that cause you angst and how you fill them.
Surround yourself in warmth and light.
Come together this weekend for the warmth and light of others and the openness to consider how we help in tangible ways.
Rev Lori Whittemore
(she, her, hers)
Unitarian Universalist Church of Saco Biddeford